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Redneck Directory

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back & they don't want it.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You take your dog for a walk & you both use the same tree.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing feature.
You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
You missed the 8th grade graducation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 66 mph.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.