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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back & they don't want it. 

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher. 

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. 

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 

You take your dog for a walk & you both use the same tree. 

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

 The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. 

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing feature. 

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler. 

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does. 

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart. 

You missed the 8th grade graducation because you had jury duty. 

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 66 mph. 

Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.