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Redneck Quickies

Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?

Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.

Question: What are the last words of a redneck?

Answer: "Hey y'all check this out!"

You know you're staying in a redneck motel, when you call up the front desk to say you gotta leak in the sink, and the guy says, "Go ahead."

Question: How do you recognize an Aussie Redneck?

Answer: You look up his family tree and most of them are still in it!!

Question: Why do Aussie Rednecks curl their cowboy hats up at the sides?

Answer: So the can fit 3 abreast in a pickup.

Famous last words of a Redneck: "Hey! I got it!"

Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!

Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . .

NASCAR:

Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?

Answer: He builds a house beside it.

What does a redneck call hitting a deer at 65 mph?

Fast food.

Who was the first redneck in the Bible?

Cain because he married his sister.

How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

What do you call a room full of redneck women?

A full set of teeth!

How can you tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?

The rich redneck has two cars up on blocks in the yard

Five rednecks drowned in the Ohio river last week. They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat.