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Personal Hygiene for Rednecks

 

  1. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
  2. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
  3. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
  4. Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours.
    Note: Its a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.
  5. Going without underwear is NOT an option.
  6. Dab a little perfume here and there.
  7. Once every month take the kids out to the back yard so pa can hose them down.
  8. Both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.
  9. Remember, the cleanest kid goes in the tub first.