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Things Rednecks Will Never Say
- I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
- We don't keep firearms in this house.
- Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
- You can't feed that to the dog.
- I thought Graceland was tacky.
- No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
- Wrestling's fake.
- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
- We're vegetarians.
- Do you think my gut is too big?
- I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
- Honey, we don't need another dog.
- Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
- Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
- Checkmate.
- She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
- Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
- Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
- I don't have a favorite college team.
- Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
- You ALL.
- Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
- Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
- I want the confederate flag down.
- Let's move to the city!
- That is enough children.
- We have too many dogs!
- I don't want to go huntin'.
- I'll take a root beer.
- My house doesn't have wheels.
- "You guys."
- I had too much beer.
- Dont you think my truck is to big?
- I hate John Deere.
- Oh, that ain't a dog that's my pet mule.
- I don't think I want a gun rack in my truck, they are just too tacky.
- Elivis who?
- I'm glad the South didn't win.
- No more Tobasco, it's too hot.
- Did you get the new Snoop Doggy Dogg CD yet?
- I wish Hank Williams Jr. and George Jones would quit drinkin'.
- Come in kids, it's too cold.
- Today is my first day back to school (since I quit in 3rd grade).
- I'm too drunk to go huntin'.
- Give me a Coke.
- Don't run that deer over.
- Kids, stop playin' with those matches.
- I'm tired of beer.
- My CB antenna is too high.
- Go outside to spit.
- Turn your head to cough.
- Hope I don't get caught doin' this.
- Quit spittin'.
- The death sentence?! That's a little harsh don't you think?
- I don't think your brushing your teeth in the back enough son.
- My tires are big enough.
- Drinking is pointless.
- Honey your jeans are too tight.
- I wasn't confused by the election ballot.
- I voted for the candidate I meant to vote for and just one time.
- Pass the soap.
- I am a city boy!
- What color are my teeth?
- Who is Richard Petty?
- That gun's too big for me to shoot.
- Slow down, you're drivin' too fast.
- NASCAR racing is boring.
- I don't drink.
- Fishin' is boring.
- I don't like huntin'.
- I think deer tastes nasty.
- Yo!
- Slow down there's an armadillo in the road.
- I missed the deer by a mile.
- Honey, kick the dog out of the bed.
- It wasnt me that farted.
- I left my shotgun at home.
- Smokin' and drinkin's bad for your health!
- Son I don't want that gun rack put in your go-kart.
- What's up my homey?
- No thank you, I don't want any Skoal.
- Son, speak proper English.
- Excuse me madame.
- I don't believe in spanking my children.
- I don't like Dale Earnhart anymore.
- Honey, we need a new hard drive for the computer.
- I ain't touched a beer in a week.
- Honey I am too tired for sex.
- Leave the cooler at home.
- I want "Romeo and Juilet" instead of "Hustler."
- I need directions.
- Do I smell ok?
- Stop them two dogs, they're gonna kill each other.
- Son, you better not drink that 40 then go to the rifle range.
- The Dukes of Hazzard is dumb because the characters are immature.
- Yankee? Sure we would love fer you to stay!
- I don't like grits.
- I think they should take the Dukes of Hazzard off the air, it's getting
boring.
- The color of the General Lee is ugly.
- Duct tape won't fix that.
- I don't chew.
- I hate the country.
- How can anyone keep a car jacked up on blocks?
- Remember, keep the chickens out of the front yard.
- Don't bring that Elvis TV tray in my house.
- I want my yard to be the best kept one in the block.
- I will never wear blue jeans.
- Don't play that country music in my house.
- How can people listen to Bluegrass music?
- How can anyone drink moonshine?
- What is a still?
- I hate cowboy boots.
- Why do you want all those lights on your truck?
- Honey, two children is a big enough family.
- Now why does anyone need a coon dog?
- What is a moon pie?
- I hate cowboy hats.
- Don't bring that dog in the house.
- How can he marry his cousin?
- Who could sleep with their sister?
- Let's paint the house.
- Let's get rid of the truck, it's starting to rust.
- Please, don't park in the yard.
- Put curtains on the bedroom window, not a blanket or a sheet.
- Those tires are too big for my truck.
- Just a simple truck, I don't want to draw attention.
- I do not want to see a gun in my house.
- I don't think I could hurt a deer.
- Let's talk, fighting gets you nowhere.
- Don't let that dog in my truck.
- We should buy the car, not the truck.
- What do I need a truck for?
- Remember kids, be like Dad, say "No" to beer.
- I don't want to live in a trailer.
Education and family values are everything.
- Never chew tobacco, smoke, or use snuff.
- Never have more children than you can afford.
- What are food stamps?
- Hank Williams Jr. wasn't really all that good of a singer.
- I think I'll have a non-alcoholic beer.
- No honey, you sit down and I'll do the cooking tonight.
- Turn it to the home shopping network.
- Honey do you think this tube top is too tight?